here

dimestorelips.blogspot.com

i'd still love to wash in your old bathwater

so this is the new year...

1) "everything you want" - vertical horizon

2) "wherever you will go" - the calling

3) "one headlight" - the wallflowers

4) "(absolutely) story of a girl" - nine days

5) "she's so high" - tal bachman

6) "if you could only see" - tonic

7) "dare you to move" - switchfoot

8) "you're a god" - verticle horizon

9) "wherever you will go" - the calling

thursday

i am counting

every day like it's something to pass.

i woke up after a twenty minute nap i never realized i was taking... you know the kind, where you wake up entirely unaware that you were asleep. it was already dark, and it was barely after five pm. i flicked on some bon iver and knocked back the rest of my sunny delight; something in the back of my mind hoped it would make the sun come back the way i remember it did in all the commercials growing up.

after staring out the window at the space needle glowing in the greyish darkened sky, i pulled myself together and realized "this is it". i'm getting somewhere, but i'm not there yet. i have a lot to do.

then i wondered, am i always going to be stuck in this feeling that i am always searching? is this a feeling that i should be pleased with? i washed some dishes and played the music that reminded me of the summer i felt freed. i grabbed my planner, packed a bag, and made a mental not to sit down and make a list of everything i needed to accomplish to hit a turning point.

sunday secrets

anyone who gets to hear me talk in real life, get to run into me in real life, or gets to wait behind me in the magazine aisle in the store can easily guess that i am in love with beautiful clothes. i'm not sure if "fashion" is the right word for what i'm in love with, since fashion encompasses trends, designers, magazines, hipsters, and run-of-the-mill blogs; lovely clothing and interesting clothing are what i secretly love.

anyway, here's a photo from fashion week that everyone and their mother already know about, nicki minaj and anna wintour (editor in chief of american vogue):

i love how nicki's top is actually a similar but more outrageous interpretation of what anna's wearing. two icons from two planets, side by side. i love this. but it's a secret.

thoughts on images, part 2

i spent my entire junior high and high school years concerned about losing weight, and now that i'm years past recovery, i weigh less than i did when it all began. i don't know where it went or how it happened, but i am aware i dropped a significant amount of my body weight since i started getting my life back together. i do not think they are related; i don't think i lost weight because i got my life together or vice versa, but the fact that i don't know what happened draws out some sort of uncertainty. i prefer knowing what is happening to myself.

some things make me want to punch you in the face

other things make me realize i'm a better person

sometimes, these two things are actually the same thing.

up & up

he wrote

to me about michelangelo. the loveliest things would slip from his mind onto the keyboard, onto paper, onto the pavement. anywhere. he was like a bit of energy that would leave a glowing trail of himself everywhere he went. he would glow everywhere he went, but it wasn't the sort of lightness you could recognize. you had to look for it. you had to really see him. he was an unconventional bit, radiating unbeknownst to himself. beautiful things are like that: unaware of how wonderful they are. and that's how he was, unconventionally everything and unaware.

and he wrote to me about michelangelo, but not how we were similar, but rather how he connected both myself and the artist. i wanted to keep every moment in a jar. the whole time was like trying to keep sand from falling between my fingers, but being too drawn to the faintest of sparkling it made when it moved from my hands back to the ground. he was like the sand itself, i guess. he belonged everywhere.

( __________ )

first thought

alone:

can i just drink this straight?

/night