surfin

surfing.
you know, how you start somewhere and just stumble and stumble until you find something worth reading. i ended up on someone's formspring and absentmindedly scrolled through their answers (because i'm still hungover from going out last night... and cleaning and reading and surfing and singing are the only goddamned things i can do right now). there wasn't even a question... just some lines, and then this answer:

Someone sucks the life out of you.
Correction.
It is a plethora of factors that suck the life out of you: lies, manipulation, doubt, disappointment, failure, heartache, heartbreak, broken promises, crude remarks, more lies, more manipulation, more doubt, more negative than you can ever imagine. Your body fails you in ways you never thought it would.
You never thought you could be so vulnerable.
You don't do anything, but something is wrong with you....
...Fear friends who don't take you seriously and friends who take you too seriously. Question everything. Naivety and innocence is dead by age 18. The idea of true love is questionable. The only proof you have of your existence are your words and the impact you've made on people -- and you never want either to be bad. Nostalgia is a blatant reminder that time is passing. And when you breathe, you are thankful yet disbelieving that you are actually alive.
But it's okay.
You tell yourself it's okay.
Because there are nice things in the world that people take for granted that you notice, and there are nice things in the world that you take for granted that others notice. But the only part that matters are the nice things that make you happy that keep you going. So you wake up each morning and hope that something nice happens, or you meet someone nice. And you tell yourself that today is going to be a good day. And you create this world where you can shove all the bad to the side. Is it real?
Who cares. None of this makes sense, anyway.