changing changing changing changing

all the times in my life i felt really real
i was
everything i consciously don't want to be...

moving fast at the slow pace of the south end..

admitting i am existing off the things i love and the people i love.. (i want to believe everyone can make it alone, including myself)

away from everything i recognize..

i'm not sure i even wanted to believe i belonged somewhere, either...

because that would mean that i'd have to deny it altogether once i was gone.

and lost. i hate admitting i'm lost...

and i hate being the first one drunk
and now i just
i just
need to stop being everything i think i'm supposed to be.
i'm slowly waning away at it all
but i managed to push away
everything
i'd really liked
just by being too....
comfortable.

everything feels better when i'm not.
funny thing is
i don't feel a damn thing anymore.